I have talked with countless women who continue to question why they love their men as they do. Despite so much drama and struggle they face with them, they can’t understand why their men don’t, “Get them…”
In my years of experience with men, I have learned that men really are a unique breed and very gifted in so many areas. They just don’t know it at times. They also are not as globally-minded as women are and that’s okay. They weren’t create to be and if they were, we’d all be a HOT MESS!
What I’ve learned also is that if you want to communicate effectively with a man, use Word Pictures or an example of something he can relate to like sports, work or a hobby he likes. Explain how you are feeling be giving him a life example in these ways.
For example, say your guy likes doing something with water, (i.e. fishing, water rafting, boating, etc.), you can say, “When you said that to me, (or did that to me), it felt like you threw a HUGE ROCK in the water and it left me gasping for air…” It’ll give him a, “visual,” in understanding you more.
Generally, most men don’t like talking a lot, let alone trying to figure a woman out. If you have a man that does talk, you are very fortunate. Scientifically, men’s brains are literally made up differently chemically. Emotionally they don’t have what we women have, because they are called by God to be our Protectors, Providers, and Coverings.
This is why they can’t understand how we women can go from 0 to 100 in one second emotionally and can remember things from 30-years ago, as if it were yesterday. We are also notorious for wanting to control things, even if it is in a passive aggressive way. Men run from that, if they are healthy. If they aren’t then you end up demasculating him in the end. Been there, done that, and learned my lesson well.
The Bible talks about women being a man’s, “Helpmate” or “Helper,” but many of us do not know what they really means, ultimately. If we did, we’d handle our men differently, learning to accept them for how they were created to be, and helping them see their potential in themselves. We need to be their biggest fan and cheerleader, not their mother, because who wants to be intimate with their mother?
GENESIS 2:18 – The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
If you have a man that may not get you all the time, communication is really important. Learn his Love Language and be secure in who you were created to be as a woman. Try not to put on him so many expectations that he is left cross-eyed. Also, when a man answers your question, “Baby, what are you thinking about?” by saying, “Nothing,” he really means he is thinking of nothing – what I would give to have that gift!!!
Now if your man is disrespectful, abusive, and minimizes your feelings, than that’s whole different ball game. Some healthy boundaries and detachment, along with professional Counseling or Coaching is definitely needed. We ‘teach’ people how to treat us by what we allow in our relationships.
If you want to be respected, be respectful, and carry yourself with dignity and grace. If you want to be understood, seek to understand, and learn to listen well. If you don’t want to be a doormat and your man is using you as one, due to being unwilling to mature, show him the door, and don’t let it hit him on the way out. You are far more valuable than to be abused!
Take Care of You,
Coach Sandra 💞
